"Major, I'm trying to sneak around, but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my asscheeks keeps alerting the guards!"
Here's a noodly yet caked up Big Boss doll on a keychain attachment! Make him a bag charm, display him next to your other plush dolls, or even bend his wire-boned body around your wrist like a bracelet. He's down for whatever.
These dolls are intentionally kinda crappy, please be aware when ordering. It's for comedic effect. The head and torso are stuffed but the limbs only contain a bendable wire. These are recommended for teens and adults only. You should give children higher quality plush dolls. I'm not sure they would appreciate this kind of humor.